The small group I'm a part of from Dundee Covenant Church met regularly on Wednesday nights as we were going through the book of Romans. Along with the study, we share about our lives and pray for one another. During our time of sharing during one of our last meetings in May, my friend and group leader Ken mentioned that he found a book at Chapters Bookstore that he is going through with someone as part of his "coffee shop ministry" (it is what we call it in our group--go Ken!). Anyway, during our small group conversation Ken said that I should look into reading it because he thought it fit my life pretty well. After a few texts with Ken, I got the title of the book and went to Chapters Bookstore to find the book.
What book am I talking about? That would be A Bigger World Yet: Faith, Brotherhood, & Same-Sex Needs by Tim Timmerman. Here is what the cover the book looks like:
I was excited to reading this book because I knew of Tim Timmerman from my time at George Fox University and I almost rented a room from him a couple years ago. Also, I was interested with the subject of the book because of my struggle with same-sex attraction and I was just about finished with the Taking Back Ground program at Portland Fellowship. I decided that A Bigger World Yet: Faith, Brotherhood, & Same-Sex Needs would be my summer reading before I started the Upper Room program in the Fall.
So during my free time in the evenings, during lunch breaks at work, and other random times during the summer I took my time going through Tim Timmerman's book. It took about three months to read through this book, but it was worth every moment that spent reading it. Page after page I really could relate to Tim's story (he shares a lot about his life in this book) and found many topics very relevant to my life. I just want to focus on two topics and what I got out of this book.
One of the topics I really enjoyed reading about was in regards to "male friendships" or "brotherhoods" that have been a part history. Tim goes into details about the brotherhood between David and Jonathan of the Old Testament, the friendship between Pythias and Damon of Greece, and James Blake and Wyck Vanderhoef from the 1800s; just to name a few. Each of these showing how important male friendships are and the intimacy that each had for the other, without any sexual intentions. There was just so much in his chapter titled "Beloved Friend" that it is too much to review here.
Another chapter that I really took a long time reading through was titled "Jesus With Skin On". Tim took a lot of time to talk about the importance of touch in our lives, especially between men. We as men really don't touch, hold, or show any type of affection to each other because we fear that we might be seen as gay or as being needy. It really is sad that we as men cannot show non-sexual affection to one another. And yet, it seams like a topic that men just don't want to discuss. I love how this chapter also talks about how some men just don't feel comfortable in their own skin and don't feel like they are just "one of the guys". And yet, the chapter shows ways men have found healing in this area of their life.
I know that the above two paragraphs are not a complete work of what I read through the course of Tim Timmerman's book, but I also don't want to ruin it for someone who would like to read this book. However, I want to now write about what I got out of this book. If you have read my previous posts, you know that I struggle with same-sex attraction and have been finding healing over the past couple of years. I really feel this book is one tool that has definitely helped me see that I'm a man who has high same-sex needs but in the past I would sexualize those needs instead of finding healthy ways to meet those needs. I found Tim's topics on brotherhood, being comfortable in my skin, and touch to be very profound on my life. I'm slowly finding that I'm getting comfortable in my own skin that I can hug and hold my fellow brothers without fear of what others think of me. I also am realizing that I have slowly been finding men that I can get to know on a more personal level and developing my own set of brotherhoods with those around me. Some of these brotherhoods may be for a season (such as men I'm living with at Portland Fellowship) and others will last for years or even a life-time. I cannot thank Tim (which I have in a personal email to him) enough for having the courage to write this book and to share what he has learned over the years.
I would encourage men to read this book as it can speak well into your life, whether you struggle with same-sex attractions or not. Women, you might too get something out to this book as well. When reading this book, be willing to be open to topics Tim goes through and you might even find ways to apply them to your own life. If you get the chance to read this book, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. God bless.
~ Brandon / Watchful
No comments:
Post a Comment